The Funeral

September 5, 2011


Should I start this blog out with a question, or should I say what's on my mind?
Words do not make a difference anyways because if I say; "I wish my mother was still alive." those words aren't going to bring her back. Oh, and if I ask, "Why did she have to die, why,. Why her?" it is not like anyone will be able to give me a straight answer. Nothing I say can change what has happened, so no question I ask will bring reason. Therefore, I will  just remain silent just as she has been silenced forever. She held my hand yet slipped so far away, to the point where I couldn't even pull her back. No, death had a grip of her that it was not willing to release. As she drew her final breaths, I counted them all till there were no more, finally just silence.

Now here as I stand, holding my mothers cold dead hand. I felt a warm tear fall from my face, and held the others inside. We all take for granted every minute of our day, little do we know death comes just  like a game of Duck Duck Goose. You will be surprised with the next one it will choose. Our hearts continually beat, but no one knows for how long. Not one human can be sure when their time here on earth is going to end. Death does not care if you are married, it is not concerned with how old or young you might be, and it sure doe not mind leaving loved ones behind.

Now my dear mother is buried beneith the ground, along with the past. I hope and pray there is a heaven where she can be free from the illnesses that weighed her down, and stole her years. It is ridiculous, how my father could have helped her get better, but it is almost as if he had wanted her to go. What a fool! She was the most beautiful woman on this planet, and he hardly even tried. In front of her casket I stand, ugh,. If only this was just a nightmare I could wake up from and all would be well in my world again.

Slowly her casket is lowered into the hole, and inch by inch, my heart sinks within. Sobs from the crowd surround me, but all I could hear and feel was sweet empty nothings. Time passed, and eventually the people began to scatter. As my father and I stood there alone, he stroked my shoulder and told me it was our time to go.
I shuffled my feet to our vehicle, and as we drove away I stared out the back window watching the grave yard grow smaller and smaller as the distance grew larger.

I have always been told to forget the past and move forward. Behind my bitterness, I begin to vaguely see what is in store for tomorrow. When I wake up it will be all fresh starts. A new home, school, and lifestyle without my dearest  mother.

To the greatest mother that has ever existed, I love you so much and will never stop missing you.
 Perhaps you would still be around if we lived In a better World.